|About the Book|
A light-hearted, raunchy, feel-good sortabiography about an ex-British Army guys comical exploits when he becomes a male-escort, based in Wales - UK. A selection of comical and serious short stories with a main flow story-line and lots of twists andMoreA light-hearted, raunchy, feel-good sortabiography about an ex-British Army guys comical exploits when he becomes a male-escort, based in Wales - UK. A selection of comical and serious short stories with a main flow story-line and lots of twists and turns.(274 pages) SAMPLE CHAPTER:-We back get in the pub and miraculously ...Englebert is down to the eight-ball already and it just happens to be right over the corner-pocket too. He sees us come in and he pots it. ‘I won!’ he shouts and he punches the air.‘You cheating b*****rd Engles!’ shouts Wayne and he picks his cue up and chases him around the table. What are they like? I get between them and we all go to the bar to get their drinks. Engles then tells me that he was going down the motorway one morning last week and it was so foggy that he couldn’t read one of those big electronic warning signs they have near the hard shoulder. And as he was just about to pass it he noticed it said “FOG!”We were all laughing when in come some guys with buckets, they’re collecting for mountain rescue. I reluctantly put my hand in my pocket. Wayne says ‘I can remember when they just carried a tin with a slit in the top.’And Engles whispers ‘When I turn my wife upside down she has her slit at the top too. But I’d never get my tongue in one of those tins.’‘I heard that!...’ she shouts from the other room ‘...and if your next comment is about a bucket, you’ll be cooking your own f*****g supper!’‘Sounds like you have a fairly well-balanced sex life there Engles...’ I said ‘...good lad.’‘You don’t know the half of it mate’ says Wayne. (I am starting to get a picture here) Then Sue Charles comes on the TV to read the weather forecast. The girls in here like to see what she shouldn’t be wearing today, and one of the girls says that she’s gonna write to some Gonk-W**k-fella to give Sue a makeover. I’d rather see Sue than that dopey weather guy though, and preferably out of that gawd-awful dress too. (wink)Engles wisely changes the subject to football and says he’s gonna be stinking rich in 2022, because he’s gonna bet on a Muslim football team to win the world cup in Qatar. He says he’s bound to win, because all the western footballers will be banged up in jail for spitting on the pitch.And why “reluctantly?” you may ask. (are you really sure you want to ask me that question?) Well... don’t get me wrong, because I know these local heroes do a grand job. They give up large chunks of their private lives going up mountains looking for daft retired teachers play-rambling at being Chris Bonnington who’ve just tripped over their own feet. And when they’re not risking their own lives doing that, they’re giving up large chunks of their private lives fund-raising for it.Am I saying they shouldn’t do it? - no I’m not. I’m saying: they should get bloody-well paid for doing it.If all those retired public sector workers and other assorted over-pensioned nepotistic seat-warming Tories want to risk their own lives going up there, then so be it. But when they know damn well that they are also risking the lives of these guys with the bucket, they should pay for it.If they can afford to pay hundreds of pounds of their big-unearned for all that specialist gear, then they can certainly afford insurance. And because they’re too tight to pay it, we have to give them even more of our hard-earned by way of the bucket.